Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize