Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
