i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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