How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
