Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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