It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
