New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize