It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
