When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
