her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
