I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
