I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
