Cold hands, warm shart.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
