I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
