The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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