You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
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you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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