Say something about gay babies.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Actions speak louder than pants.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
