omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
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When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
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Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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