It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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