He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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