Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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