you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize