Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
