you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
