just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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