Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
