I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
