Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have feelings that need drinking.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize
