If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
