Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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