I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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