i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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