I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I need to calm my uterus...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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