I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
