perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
