we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
