would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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