I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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