at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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