chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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