Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
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I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
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There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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