I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
