Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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