You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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