thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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