do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
