The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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