In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My cat gives me a boner
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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