take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
