Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
worst night to have a conscience
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize