You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize