I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
