So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
