the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
