Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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