talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
