xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
