All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
