God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
