You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
