Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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