Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize